Pablo's New Toy
by baby-new-year
Summary: Pablo saves his hard-earned lemonade stand money and buys a 'big kid toy' known as a chainsaw.
1. Chapter 1

Pablo loved going to the toy store. Okay, so most people said it was called the hardware store, but the things they sold there were fun, like toys. So Pablo always refferred to it as a toy store.

One day, he had a lemonade stand. He actually made some money this time, because he didn't get sued over an, uh, _incident involving accidently selling poision. So he decided to go to the toy store and buy something he saw his daddy use one day; it was called a chainsaw. _

_The next day, Pablo decided to play with his new toy. He was skipping outside, singing the 'tra-la-la-la-la song.' It was a very complicated song; it went like this: tra-la-la-la-la, tra-la-la-la-la, tra-la-la-la-LA! Pablo was very proud of himself for being able to remember all of the words; he used to always forget the 'la's,' and often the 'tra's' as well._

"_PAAAAAAABLOOOOOO!" Pablo knew that voice. It was his mother. She often nagged at him to do stupid things like to "never sit in a heated oven, dear," or "never, ever stick your head in the mouth of a hungry shark ever again." Pablo did not particularly care for this grown-up penguin lady._

"_Come help my with the cookies, sweetie. I'm making your favorite, chocolate chip."_

"_Do they have Windex in them?" Pablo asked skeptically. His silly mother often forgot his favorite ingredient. _

"_Pablo, dear, remember that time you had to go to the hospital after comsuming cleaning products? That really isn't a good idea."_

"_Fine, then! Deprive me of my right to eat potental poision! But you will never force me to help you with your yucky cookies! Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to run through the street without looking for cars!"_

"_Oh, no, you won't! Why don't you play with your nice new toy instead? You told me you got a teddy bear. didn't you?"_

_Pablo grinned; he enjoyed lying to his mother, especially when she didn't let him do stuff that he was able to do, being the invincable penguin child that he was. He figured that his mother must just be jelous of his super powers. _

_So Pablo went outside to play with his chainsaw. Following the instructions to turn it on exactly, he pressed the button. It started to vibrate at once. _

"_Here comes Pablo!" he screamed, charging at his friends, who were playing peacefully in their giant attached backyard. _

_ONE HOUR LATER_

_Pablo was in juvie. He would be there for the next few decades. The wordt part of the punishment was that they took away his chainsaw, and told him the truth; he was not an invincable super-penguin. On the bright side, his rampage at the news got him out of juvie. He was going to a new place known as a 'children's mental health facility.' Pablo hoped they had a chainsaw there. _


	2. Chapter 2

Hi, everyone. So, I decided to expand this story. This is probably going to be the only expansion, but I'm not positive. Thanks for the enthusiasim you showed with chapter one.

Tyrone was sick of it; peolpe kept trying to use his head as a coat rack. He was a moose, not a piece of furnature!

FLASHBACK

The first time this had happened, he was four years old. There was a little, uh, incident, that occured that time. Being the immature toddler that he was, he did not know how to control his emotions. His grandmother, who did not have any antlers of her own, used his head to hang up her old lady coat. It smelled like bingo and prune juice. Yuck! So Tyrone shook the disgusting pink thing off of his head. Unfortunately, he poked GrammieMoose in the tummy. Okay, he poked her kind of hard. In fact, he may or may not have kinds stabbed her.

"Sorry, GrammieMoose. But think on the bright side! Now you won't have to chew! You can just poke stuff into that tummy hole!"

So GrammieMoose went to the doctor's office. Tyrone started to cry when his mommy told him.

"It's so sad!" he was eventually able to choke out. "Now that the doctor fixed her tummy, she's going to have to chew again!"

"Tyrone, dear, she never chews anyway. All she ever eats is ice cream."

"I want to be like Grammie! Except for, you know, the hole in her tummy."

END OF FLASHBACK

So to this day, Tyrone associated people hanging their things on his head with this awful event. So when his friend, Pablo, tried to balance a chainsaw on his head, Tyrone went nuts with flashbacks. He started dancing around, trying to shake it off of his head. However, it got stuck in his antlers. And is sorta, kinda, maybe turned on. And it sorta, kinda, maybe went through his head.

Pablo cackled evily. He loved his chainsaw.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- Yes, I know that this update was unexpected. But I just couldn't resist adding another chapter to this story. : ) Also, remember that they're penguins, so when I say 'wings,' I mean 'hands.' There are also references to The Hunger Games, but I think this will be funny even if you don't know the characters.

**Chapter 3**

"Paaaaaaaaaaaablooooooooooooo!"

Pablo rolled his eyes. What did the crazy penguin lady want now? But he went to find her anyway. When he did, he saw that she was frowning with her wings on her hips.

But "I just got a very interesting phone call from Home Depot. They wanted to know how your chain saw is working."

Pablo shrugged. "I have no idea what they're talking about."

But the nutty penguin lady didn't beleive her equaly loony son. "Then why did your friend Tyrone's momy call me to say that Tyrone needed an emergency brain transplant due to an incident involving you and an out-of-control chain saw?"

Pablo shrugged. "I refuse to answer that without my lawyer present."

"Pablo, be serious. You're five. You don't have a lawyer."

Just then, a six-foot-tall purple dinosaur came skipping through the house. Literally. He ran through the wall, and all.

"My name is Barney," he said, giving Pablo a buisness card. "I want to be your lawyer. But more importantly, I want to be your friend."

But Pablo was still skeptical. "Have you ever done that before?"

"What? Had friends?" Barney gasped, clearly offended. "Of course I've had friends! What, do you think they pay those kids on television to pretend that they like me when they so clearly hate me? That's rediculous!"

Pablo shook his head. "No, no, no. I meant, have you ever been a lawyer?"

"Oh, right! Well, yes, yes I have. In fact, my first, and admitably only, case went quite well. I'll bring my clients in now, shall I?"

"That really isn't nessecary," Pablo's mother started. "What is important is that Pablo returns the chain saw, apologizes to Tyrone, and never plays with power tools again."

But Barney didn't listen; he already was calling for someone through the hole in the wall.

"Now, these kids were never allowed to have Mountain Dew before thay asked me or help," Barney continued. "Now, they can literally go swimming in pools filled with it if they want."

As if on cue, two teenagers, both wearing red-and-black jumpsuits with the number '2' pinned to the sleeves, ran in. Both of them had eyes that bugged out of their heads.

"Join us, Pablo," they said in a hypnotized-seeming unison.

Barney laughed as if they were slightly-naughty-yet-adorable puppies. "Now, Clove here loves Mountain Dew. She was quite happy that we won the case. But, just like you, she also loves chain saws."

The one Pablo assumed was Clove, a tough-looking girl with long dark hair, nodded. "I also like doing this." With that, she kicked Barney in the stomach. The other one laughed evilly. Pablo thought he must be an evil genius or something, but then Pablo's tiny puppy came over, ready to play, and the 'evil' boy started to hyperventallate and pooped his pants.

"He's had some bad experiances with dogs," Barney explained, putting duct tape around the hole Clove made in his giant tummy. "So, what do you say Pablo?"

Pablo nodded. "Okay. I'll join you."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Pablo ran off with his creepy lawyer. Despite being annoying, refusing to stop the constant singing of the "I love you," song, and having absolutely no brain cells, Barney was a very good lawyer. Whenever anyone threatened to sue Pablo for playing with his power tools, Barney would duct tape them to a wall and sing about, 'We're a happy family' until they 'forgot' about Pablo and his power tools. If that didn't work, Clove would throw empty cans of Mountain Dew at them.

So, generally, Pablo never got in trouble when Barney was by his side. But one day, when Barney and his past clients were going to recruit others, an adorable little puppy came out to play. Again, the other Mountain Dew addict (Pablo kept forgetting his name. Was it Catie?) pooped in his pants. But it was okay because Barney made him wear a Pull-Up with Tinkerbelle on it.

"Barney!" Pablo screamed. "Catie is stinky!"

Unfortunately for Pablo, this made Catie very mad. He used Barney's duct tape to attach Pablo to the sidewalk. But Barney came and easily picked him up. "Now, now. Remember your anger management class. What did you learn? Do your breathing exercises."

After a few minutes, Catie came back to Pablo. "Prepare… for… DORA!" he screamed as Clove came over. Together, the reenacted every single episode of Dora the Explorer ever televised, including the introductions to all of the online games. Of course, Pablo felt his brain melt the first time they sang the theme song. Their horrible voices ruined the already terrible excuse for a song.

With his lessened sanity, Pablo got a new idea. As soon as he was untaped, he ran off in a random direction. "I'm Luna Lovegood! Follow me, and we'll find the Nargles together! Do you see them? If you do, don't worry!" He then started to use a dreamy, whimsical voice. "You're just as sane as I am."

And so, Pablo ran off to the outskirts of town. He expected his lawyer and new friends to follow him as he began a new life as Luna Lovegood, but they were too busy finding more people to duct tape to random sidewalks.

But Pablo didn't care. He was excited. He had always dreamed of starting a new life as a random Harry Potter character with questionable sanity. In fact, his kindergarten teacher once had the class draw a picture of what they want to be when they grow up. Pablo drew a picture of himself as Luna. It was also the first day he got sent to the principal's office; some random kid told him that penguins can't grow hair, making Pablo looking just like Luna impossible. Pablo was furious, and literally threw the kid through a wall.

So when Pablo saw Luna, who also ran away while chasing the Nargles, he reacted like Catie. In other words, he started to hyperventilate and was suddenly glad that his mommy the crazy penguin lady still made him wear diapers.

"Hello," Luna said to him in her trademark dreamy voice. "Do you mind if I ask you a question?"

Pablo nodded as vigorously as a bobble head. "Of course! Anything! Actually, before you ask, I do see them, too!"

"Oh. That's nice. But actually, I was going to ask you-"she took a deep breath. "WHY ARE YOU STALKING ME?! Don't deny it; we were in the same kindergarten class! What, did you think I went to Hogwarts my whole life?!"

So Pablo ran away crying. This was exactly what his mommy always told him- Luna is a person, not something to obsess over. Pablo learned his lesson, and instead became obsessed with Voldemort, also known as Creepy Snake Guy.


End file.
